I am starting to feel like how Eddie felt but only sometimes. The other times I feel like I am the shit and will keep trying but softly.
前者は、is when i have talked to him recently and want to scream " i'm heeeeeere!!!", but of course i dont becuz that would be too...i dunno....just dont want to receive a no.
When talking recently, it felt like a sentence would come out and i read it as "私に興味がない", but then i am confused becuz i read other messages, different type of messages, before that looked different.
後者は、is when i'm not talking to him, when i am imagining, before/during we hang out, or like last weekend.
I think the drinks were part of it because i felt like i was ontop of the world. I was super happy!! Even for the smallest things that happened. And although only I knew why I felt like this, it was enough for me. If i had less drinks, for sure i would have felt different and then i wouldn't have the excuses that i did that time. That day when I woke up is when i told Marcela about my feelings because she was being open with me, so i felt more comfortable telling her. And that is when everything made sense to her. Like a click that means, " aaah! i get it now! ", and she then understood why i did certain things.
I guess i am too good at hiding my feelings...Sometimes this is a good thing but at the same time...it can be negative. Especially when I am looking for information. Jose is helping me with that. ^_−☆