31 10月 2013

5000 Questions Part 33

3102. Where do you look for the answers?
in a dictionary or in my textbook.

3103. If you are driving and someone honks at you does it ruin your whole day?

3104. If you are driving and you get angry at another driver do you
yell at them through their and your closed window? no
open the window and yell at them? no
throw things at them? no
stop the car and start a fight with them? no!
do something else? i just ignore it and move on.

3105. I'm in the right lane on the parkway. There is an exit only lane on my right. A car pulls out from behind the pack into the exit only lane. When that car gets to the exit he is right in front of me only one lane to the right of me. Instead of exiting the parkway he tries to creep back in in front of me. I get pissed and honk the horn. He (I keep saying he but I couldn't tell) throws up his hands as he slides in front of me. I think this is funny and toot again. He throws up his hands again. I do this about three more times and each time I toot he throws his hands in the air. Then my exit clomes up and I have to get off. From the time he got in front of me until I got off the parkway we drove approx. 20 feet. What you think about this situation?
its kinda annoying. . . . ^^''

3106. Do you live in reality or in your 'own little world'? hmmmm i think both ^^b
Which one is better? i guess i like both? but when i daydream. . .if that could happen now, then i like my daydream better. it has more kissing and hugging in it.

3107. Who's your favorite soprano?
i don't have one >_<

3108. Why is there porn geared towards straight men, gay men, lesbians but none really geared towards straight woman?
i think women really don't need porn to begin with and are not really interested in it. if you are slutty enough, you don't need a magazine, you can just ask a guy to have sex. most times guys don't say no......

3109. Is there more to being human than chemicles and impulses? If yes, what?
um. . .i'm not sure

3110. What if all the boys in jail could get out now together?
i would be scared

3111. If your shoes could talk what would they say?
that they want to be used more? i dunno XD

3112. How many windows are in your house?
10 ^^ but as units it would be 4.

3113. Did you walk around your house and count them all? no
If not what did you do? i just thought about it in my head ^^

3114. Do you think people store memories as pictures or words?
i think both. for me its pictures. i'm not good with words :/ like. . . in ANY language XD

3115. If you got sent to jail who would your one phone call be to?
my brother

3116. Pick a movie you have seen: そして父になる
Give a 2 sentance review about it using the word 'go':
Definitely a good movie to go and see. Be prepared to be touched.

3117. Pick a song you like: Wherever You Are
Give a 2 sentance review of it useing the word 'come':
When he comes into my heart this is the song I will always play.

3118. Pick a person you like: :3
Give a two sentance description of them useing the word 'lunchbox':
Their personality is nothing like a lunchbox. A lunchbox hides whats inside and it may be a good or bad surprise but he doesn't hide from me at all. :)

3119. What do these 3 words have in common: hippo, camp, us?
hippocampus . . .i think thats part of the brain

3120. If you could save time in a bottle, the first thing that you'd like to do is?
i would save the time i would see them again *^^*

3121. Who is the most powerful person in the world that you can think of?
my mom. . . . >____> she's scary

3122. If you were designing a mini-golf hole what would it be like?
it would look like a theme park

3123. Why do you think certain people become targets for teasing in school or exclusion at work?
because the people picking on them feel lonely and insecure

3124. Why, in essays, is the word 'I' not allowed to be used when it is our own PERSONAL thoughts being expressed?
because you can express your opinion without saying "I", and its seen as not proper. For example , in an essay you can just write "This cake is awesome" rather than "I think this cake is awesome". We already know that this is your opinion so there is no need for emphasis. ^^

3125. What song would you like your doorbell to play?
i dunno, something cuter!

3126. Would you rather watch MTV or play GO FISH?

3127. What is an itch?
something that i have to scratch

3128. Why did the holocaust happen?
some people really like control. . .

3129. Would you be capable of torturing another person?
never. lol i cant bear myself to even hurt bugs. how would i be able to torture a person?

3130. How did Hitler's army do this and still believe they were good people?
i have no idea. it doesn't make sense to me

3131. Do you like poetry to rhyme?
sometimes. if it doesn't rhyme , that's ok too.

3132. Does 'jewish' describe a race or a religion?

3133. How tall are you?
5'5 feet-ish? i think. . . . i haven't measured in many years. my friend says i have grown, but then again he doesn't know his own height.

3134. If Hitler was capable of such cruelty to others, and he is human, does that mean that all humans are capable of this cruelty?/
we all have potential for everything

3135. How long have you ever gone without sleep?
2-3 days. when i went to kyoto for the first time. but i was excited to be there so i was ok. no jet lag. but i did sleep like a ANCIENT ROCK! i always sleep like a rock but this time it didn't even take minutes to fall asleep. on top of that, i fell asleep on the tatami floor instead of the futon. XD i didn't notice until i woke up.

3136. Is a mouse a miracle?
hmm not really . . .?

3137. there are alcoholics, chocoholics, shoppoholics, practically anything can be an 'oholic. What's your 'oholic?

3138. Does heaven have aphone number? no
If it did would you call? yes
Who would you ask to speak to? whoever answered
What would you say? ask them who they are

3139. Fortune time!!

1,2, 3, or 4? 2
if 1: 5, or 6? 6
if 2: 7 or 8? 8
if 3: 9 or 10? 9
if 4 11 or 12? 11
............um . . . . . . what? XD

Now pick a letter between A and G:

if A: 13 or 14? 14
if B: 15 or 16? 16
if C or D: 17 or 18? 18
if E or F: 19 or 20? 19
if F: 21 or 22? 22
if G: 22 or 23? 22
you should now have two numbers. look at both numbers below and combine the sayings to get a fortune.

so my numbers are ----> 2, 6, 8, 9, 11 and 14, 16, 18, 19, 22, 22.

5: you are a very loving person
6: you will become very rich
7: you are too hard on yourself
8: cats will bring you bad luck
9: gremlins will eat all your cheese
10: you are going on a trip
11: someone you don't know will be watching you
12: you will get what you want
13. and your life will be filled with romance
14. but you will fall in love with a babboon
15. and salt is lucky for you
16. or you will inherit a cough medicine factory
17. and you will not come back
18. and you will lose the remote
19. or your favorite team will win
20. and you were born under a lucky star
21. but the next person who leave you a note is attracted to you
22. and you will have a stalker soon
23. or your best friend will take you to a movie

3140. Do you vote?

3141. Are you always honest with yourself? 

yea? how can i not be honest with myself?
Were you honest when you answered that question?

3142. What kinds of diary names or entry titles make you specifically NOT want to read that diary?
something like "loner24" or some shit like that

3142. Is writing an online diary more about being honest about yourself or entertaining your readers?
its about writing faster cuz i can't keep up with my thoughts when using a pen or pencil

3143. What are you the last of?
the last to . . . . . hmmm fall asleep?

3144. Who do you really appreciate and what have you done lately to show that you appreciate them?
i drew a cartoon for him *^^*

3145. When people do good deeds are they really doing them because they are a good person or because they want to feel like a good person? Or both?
it can be either or both

3146. Somewhere far back in the survey I asked if Bill Gates or Mothe Thereasa was more successful. The most popular answer I have seen is 'it depends on how you define success'. Well, this survey is about YOU isn't it? So how do YOU define success?
i define success in happiness. how happy are you with your life and the goals you have completed?

3147. Are people making up reality as they go along?
i guess?

3148. You may need a calculator for this one. Think of your weight. Divide it by 2.2
multiply the answer by .8
What do you get? 41.09

That is how many grams of protein you need to eat every day to stay healthy. Do you think you eat enough?
that feels like a lot. . . .

3149. What is your feeling about republicans?
they're annoying

3150. What do you need to do?
i need to do my homework >_<;;
What do you need to stop doing?
this survey. . . . >____>

3151. If you were to start a club, what club would you start?
an international club or like a restaurant club.

3152. Are your hands and feet always cold?
Maybe you have bad circulation.
i probably do. but i'm not used to cold weather, so its not my fault

3153. Have you ever been prank called?
If yes, what was the situation?

3154. Have you ever prank called someone?
If yes, what was the prank?

3155. Have you ever gotteen into a conversation with someone when they or you have dialed a wrong number?

3156. Have you ever just sat alone with no distractions for a whole hour and thought about things?
yes *^^*
If yes, does the universe open up when you do this?
hmmm. . .my mind opens up and then i fall asleep XD

3157. Are you a genius?

3158. If you were going to design the PERFECT signifigant other...what flaws would you give them?
oversleeping. . . jajajaja XD but i like this :3

3159. If you answered NO to 3157, why do you doubt yourself?
i don't doubt myself. i just think i'm normal

3160. RARRRR!!! Scared ya, didn't I?

3161. Do feelings and ideas come from inside the mind or outside in the culture?
definitely both

3162. When you have a feeling or an idea:
do you trust it? sometimes
Even when people are telling you that you are wrong? i will listen to what my friends think but its my decision in the end
Even when people are laughing at you for it? that i dont care about

Marie in Campos Melendez House

3164. What is the differance between spirituality and religion?
i dunno. i think its the same thing

3165. What is the speediest way you know of to get over a cold or flu?
drink a lot of fluids, have hot water with sugar and honey, have cough drops (i like the lemon flavor ones :3), and sleep with vicks

3166. Who is your favorite comedian?
there are a few but i mostly like : Russell Peters, Fluffy, George Lopez

3167. What do you think of Winona Ryder's court case?
i dunno that person

3168. What was your last nightmare about?
my boyfriend was touching some other girl >_>

3169. Who are the people in your neighborhood?
i dunno many of them

3170. During what decade was popular music the most emotional? hmmm.... the 80's?
During what decade was popular music the best? 90's?

3171. How did Frederick Douglas, escape slavery against all odds? There were thousands and thousands of slaves around him, why did only he manage to learn to read and write?
cuz maybe a lot of other slaves weren't interested in learning how to read and write

3172. Do you download porn? (be honest!)

3173. Why is 'go suck an egg' or 'your grandma sucks eggs!' an insult?

i have never heard that.

Life is: beautiful
I am: me
I am not: everyone
But I want to be: someone who makes you happy
And I wish I could: have teleportation powers

3176. Can you give step by step instructioons on how to think deeply?
nooooo. XD i would totally fail

3177. DDid you ever see the Wizard of Oz with the sound all the way down while listening to pink Floyd's The Wall?
If yes, did you see what everyone says goes on when you do that?

3178. Let's say you were writing an application for potential new friends. What three questions would you ask (and what would you want the answers to be)?

1) do you like to travel and have you traveled? yes
2) do you like to taste different foods? yes
3)do you drink for socializing? yes

3179. Which two words of the following words goes together the best and why:
mullet, brocollii, community, blue, phosphor, hammer, ocean, hand
ocean and hand, because i can hold someones hand while walking on the beach next to the ocean. *^^*

3180. Are you dyslexic?

3182. Are you overwhelmed?
By what?
 7 pounds >___>

3183. 'My natural elasticity was crushed.'
What does that mean?
they lost their virginity? i'm not sure

3184. What is humanity evolving towards, do you think?
something too complex

3185. Are you good at cracking codes?

,t y dsud yp Ftoml upit ,o;l

I'll give you a hint. Y really means T.

. . . . . . i didn't get it >_____<;;

3186. How many holes do you have in your body (ex. mouth)?

3187. Now there are ads on taxi cab hubcaps. Is there ANY free space LEFT to put more ads onto taxis???
yup. on the doors and pretty much everywhere.

3188. What's the worst place to have a scab?

3189. Do you pick your scabs?
when i was a kid yes. now? no cuz i dont want a scar.

3190. Who's goin' chicken huntin'?

3191. post 'it' note
what does 'it' stand for?

3192. What is a tragedy?
something sad :P

3193. Where is guam?
close to philipines

3194. Are you bubbly?
Do you drink bubbly?

3195. Do you have caller ID?
If you do then do you only answer the phone after looking at it?

3196. Bewitched or Jeannie?

3197. When will you be able to just do what you want to?
soon! very very soon! like, next year soon!

3198. How do people live with the fact that their time is short and priceless yet they get paid too little to waste too much of it?
im not sure. . . . >_>

3199. OOGA! Make your best cave-pperson sound!

3200. Who tells better gossip, your best friend or your answering machine?

my friend i guess?

24 10月 2013



    Is it strange to say? That even though I dont see my special person everyday, I am still happy. The other day I didnt talk to him for a few hours and I was panicking becuz I thought to myself, "is this how it would feel like? a quiet empty room?". Like something used to be there but now its not. 
    I get that feeling everytime i think about Muchi. ^^" I know its not good to keep some of her things but I dont want to throw them away. And I'm not ready to think about another dog... It feels too soon. 

    The other day my aunt wanted to sell one of her dogs to us, but i declined her offer. First, dogs are free. What I am paying for is vet shots and travel cost. Because how can you put a price on a life? Second, i have had my Muchi since I was 7. We grew up together and she just passed away not long ago, so it's too soon for me. Third, I will not be in US to take care it and at the moment I cannot travel to many places and have my dog in pet hotels all the time. They deserve a home that has time to be there. 

    It's really hard not to get sad when I think of her and it's really hard to not cry, but then I think of my special person and I feel better. *^^*

    Today I have my midterm for Japanese. Practically my only midterm, but still a midterm! Aaaaaaaah >_____<"

~*~ 13:08時頃~*~

    I surprised myself. In the exam, it asked who is an important teacher to me, and I said my dog. I surprised myself because I started crying a little. . . . Like always, i tried to hide it. 

    Anyways, will write a seperate post since its a different subject. ^^~





    I think good conditions in order to become a good politician is honesty, honesty, and more honesty. The way politicians speak in America is very difficult to understand and they dont answer all questions. So when they become politicians, they become a different person. From the beginning they should be honest./i think a politician who has honesty from the beginning is necessary. 

   また、アメリカには色んな宗教と考え方がありますけれどもみんなの国民は同じ問題もあります。例えば、増えている学校のがくひとか、health care等。一番大切な事は候補者のどんな宗教に信じる事じゃなくて、どのような政治をしたい事だと思います。
    Also, in America there are many religions and many ways of thinking but, citizens have the same problems. For example increasing school tuition, health care, etc. The most important thing is not what religion the candidate believes in, it's what they want to do in politics.

ごめんね。。。health careって日本語で分かんない>_<











今も新しい「あなたへ」というプロジェックト始めてる〜 :3

19 10月 2013



    Be ready for a lot of mini posts today, because I have a LOT to say. :P
I was just reading this little thing (about how not to make an idiot of yourself at a japanese wedding), and I realized how I've never been to a wedding. XD I was invited to one but couldn't go. . . So I have nothing to compare japanese weddings with.

    I guess its like how I never took a subway until I went to Japan. It was my 1st time going into a subway and all that stuff, so when I went back and had to take 'subways' in Chicago, there is no contest. ^^'' I was utterly shocked for a few weeks but I have managed to not think about it anymore. . .to some extent.
    I still smile to myself when people complain about full trains, and how there isn't much space. . . There is totally a bunch of space!

    But anyways, back to the wedding thing. I wonder what changes legally when you marry someone in Japan. Do people keep their names, do they change them? If they change them is it both people or just one person? What about families? I've always seen as marriage as one of those "ok so now your family is my family, and I have to deal with you now. . ." situations. What do you wear to a wedding? How do you prepare for one?
    I have no clue how people do it in US either so I am soooo out of my element here. I truly know nothing. ^^''

    I knew about the presents (money), and people making speeches. . . But it isn't until you are experience it, that you can truly talk about it.


    I learned that my friend is engaged, and I asked her a bunch of questions. :3 I think she is learning as she goes through the process, but it was interesting to get her take on it. What we mostly think as a marriage is really just the ceremony part. I can go to the legal office tomorrow, sign a paper where we both get married, and still have a wedding ceremony like a month later. Cool stuff. . .cool stuff.

15 10月 2013

Zoomin Japan


    Again I find myself being stressed and I kinda. . . . got disappointed by what she said regarding the summer trip. I had my heart set on it and just cuz i dont have certain answers at the moment, she doesn't know. Whatever, I'm still being optimistic about it.

    I jumped ahead a bit and was looking at this. (Talks about visa stuff for Japan.) Now i have more reason to get to level N1 in JLPT! Oh my gosh i have to study so much T^T.
    And my teacher sent me an email today regarding my behaviour. Things that I had already talked with her, but i think i just don't stand out in her memory? From her email, I felt like there was a different image of me as a student and i'm not gonna lie, it did upset me. I thought i had already cleared out reasons for some of these things but i guess not. . . I like my other teacher better. . .

    Anyways, it's my break now. I wanted to finish reading this before having a small snack and some of my homework. I think it's really interesting topic; one that i am starting to cover more in my graduate plan although my focus is more on brazilian-japanese. Of course I would like to do in "foreigners" in general but this seems like too broad. And then i moved to this article about an interview with a guy who did JET and is now in Okinawa permanently and has written 2 books and blogs regularly. :D Isn't that cool?! It would be really nice to have a conversation with him about work and his books.

    Hmmm I'll have to work on my Facebook page to get publicity on my art =_=. But when can i draw if i am studying all the time? Drawings i do now is just simple cartoons for study notes. XD And most of my time lately is taken from my lovely BF, my friends, my mentee (this is my volunteer work that i am doing right now. pretty awesome!! if only i got payed TT_TT), studying and running. My hand and mind have so many ideas to draw down, but right now I am more busy with preparing for test, run, and JLPT. I really want to get a good score. ^^''

    And then I found an even more interesting post here, about relationships between women and their jp guy. :P I remember one summer i was trying to look for this stuff, but it was so difficult! I'm like, "WHY IS THIS SHIT SO DIFFICULT???!?!?!?!?!?!!! I can't be the only one out there!". I mean, there are plenty of stories of western guys with japanese girls and my teachers are proof of that actually, and how guys are easily able to get a girlfriend (even when they are considered ugly back home they still find a girlfriend somehow. . .) but that still left me with questions of the other side of the story. Even my friend Jose was like, "yea it wasn't that hard to find a girlfriend. and i was actually surprised how quickly they would point out to a love hotel".
    I still remember when I was in Hiroshima and the 2 girls we met up with for dinner and karaoke were hovering over the guys, and i was so amazed cuz i kept thinking, "what the hell? these guys are soooooo not attractive, let alone gentlemen. . . . . . I mean come on!!! What do they see in them? XD". It's like they became superstars for that night. Basically the rest of that trip all of us felt like superstars since people kept staring at us. . . .ALL the time. Me and my friend even made a song about it and i remember it to this day.

I see you lookin' at me
lookin' at me
lookin' at me.
I see you lookin' at me, and then I look at you.

You see me lookin' at you
lookin' at you
lookin' at you.
You see me lookin' at you, and then you look away.

    And it really is true. Although she told me that when she went to Tokyo all her superstar-feeling-ness went away, and she was treated like any other person. I only know about how people stared at me all the time in Hiroshima and Kyoto so I don't know about Tokyo. (It was cute though sometimes, especially when these girls on a bus were all shy and excited. So we said hi to them and they took pictures of us, and we wrote them a little message in english (just stuff like "hi. how are you? have fun this summer". so nothing difficult) because they told us they were studying english. I didn't want to go since what they wanted to do was different from what I wanted to do and I had already spent a lot of money on clothes. . . XD It took me a while to find geta in my size. . . and the thing that goes inside the obi. Luckily I have a fashion magazine now (japanese) that explains how to put it on, cuz i totally forgot. XD

    But anyway, my point was that it was difficult to find stories where the guy is the one who is japanese and not the girl. So I was really glad to had found it and read stories about Claudia and Zia. It gave me more . . .hmmm. . . . . . .how to say. . . .positive energy? Luckily my bf doesn't have to meet my grama. XD She thinks every asian person is chinese (this is pretty typical thinking in Puerto Rico). But if he did I dunno what to do because she speaks and understand english but she chooses not to. And she's really old fashioned. Last time I HINTED to her that I wasn't christian, . . . o . . . my. . . gosh. But family is family. ^^

    I would like to know how people met. This always interests me cuz i love stories! Like the movie My Darling Is A Foreigner (which is also a manga). I watched this movie as well as 2 other japanese movies in the airplane to Japan, and I fell in love with the story! I think the manga is first actually, then they made a movie. But I would totally buy this movie and watch it 30 billion times. ^^'''

    I could feel nervous when she went to a party where her "darling" was, and it was mostly foreign people so she really felt nervous and awkward and just wanted to find her boyfriend but then she was all overwhelmed from all the people there. And here I am in my airplane seat watching this and holding my breath and thinking "omygosh omygosh omygosh omygosh omygosh". XD

    Once when I went to Sanseido, I found one of the manga and I bought it because i really liked the movie. Which reminds me, I have to go again because i'm running out of soap. XD I need soap for shower! I like smelling like mint. *^^* Maybe this is weird to some people but after my trip in Japan, now i only use japanese soap. It's amazing. :3 I even gave some to my brother for his birthday. I guess there are some things that I thought, "omygosh this is so much better. XD". So when i came back i was a little disappointed. And I realized about me, that I quickly got used to talking slower in english, bowing and saying "はい" all the time. And I ACTUALLY felt insulted a bit when a guy in the airport security was making conversation with me, because he asked me my age (or something like that. . .don't really remember). I was actually thinking "I'm DEFINITELY back in america. . .This guy is so direct!". Ya. . . . . it was reverse culture shock. ^^'''

Here is a little preview, so you know what I'm talking about. :P

    But anyways,
I'm glad to have read the article and now i'm gonna dig more posts cuz it seems like a really interesting site. :3 So this post became . . . .super mega long! XD But to make things more interesting, here is something else that I was reading about. I was against the idea of teaching from the beginning but now i'm starting to think that it can benefit me because i have learned that i love helping my friends with their japanese and english (even though i am not native in either one XD). Hmmm, still thinking about it. :3

14 10月 2013



    Little by little pealing an onion actually kinda gets to you. I like the aroma and the taste but isn't it strangely wonderful how you start crying just from cutting and pealing onions? I always joke when my ma is cutting onions, "don't worry. it'll get better i promise. life is not that depressing". Something like that. I know she is not sad, but i just find it funny. I promise there was a purpose for why i mentioned pealing onions but i totally forgot. XD

    Oh yea! ! !

    I was thinking about how (this is a metaphor) i am pealing my little onion and little by little i start crying. But its not sad crying, it's happy crying because i am able to peal my little onion and expose the inside of my weakest self. Which i do with only a few people. So far i have . . . 5 amazing people in my life that i can do that with. They are my brother, my 2 best friends in the world, Fernanda, and *^^*. (I would have said 6, but i feel that she doesn't make a lot of effort. . .I still like her but sometimes i wonder.)

    I have other good friends that are close too (to varying degrees) but because they don't live by me, I haven't been so open like that with them. If i open myself to someone its because i truly trust them and i want them to always be in my life. They will support me and i will support them.

    I think I've only cried in front of 2 people. XD The first time was with Eddie. My ex broke up with me and I was really sad, so i called him and he came over to my house, walked to a nearby kids park, sat on a bench and while my eyes became red and my face looked like a mess, we just talked. I think it was like. . . . 2 ? 3? in the morning. That was a while ago.

    The second time was this summer. . .maybe 1 week after 七夕 (that is Muchi's bday), and Jose was dropping off everyone (Javier and Jongwon, then Fernanda), and while he was driving me back (cuz i'm the one that lives the farthest) I told him the news how Muchi died and i just couldn't stop crying. I tried being happy that day, but after the group made a comment about some dog they saw in the park i became quiet. I couldn't say anything. And i tried really hard to hold in my tears.
    When we got to my house I asked him if we could just talk for a bit more cuz i didn't want my mom to see me this way. We just talked for a bit (about random stuff. we even tried to find things that we don't have in common which are like 5 things) and that helped. Usually i just talk to people who i consider close to me when i'm feeling down,sad,stressed, etc. But i don't talk about my feelings, i just talk about everyday stuff. That makes me feel better.

    Otherwise I've never cried in front of anyone else. . . ^^''

    And yesterday Jose was like "oh, and remember to say 'thanku' when someone gives you a compliment". I said "aaah yea yea . . .". "Wait, why this all of a sudden?" And he told me how when he said to me that my dress was nice, I didn't say anything. Honestly i don't even remember me not saying anything. So i explained to him that when i was in puerto rico, always, and i mean ALWAYS, people would say "waaao. she's so pretty", "your daughter is so beautiful", "she looks marvelous", "she's beautiful", "she will grow even more pretty", "she's adorable" etc. And i kept thinking are they just being polite, or do they mean it? I couldn't tell if this is what they really thought because it happened all the time, so i just learned to smile and not say anything cuz even now i still think are they being polite or is this what they really think?
    So he told me "well i mean them". I will try to say thanku next time i get a compliment, but only from my close friends and him of course. ^^

    Thanku. ^^
    For giving me the confidence to peal my little onion little by little and be able to enjoy it.
    Sometimes I hesitate and other times i'm shy or scared, but with your constant kindness and reassurance I'm able to smile down at my little onion and keep pealing knowing that one day i'll see the center and know it will be cradled with warmth.

13 10月 2013




    And i mean it! WAO!

    I know i didn't imagine it and i didn't hear wrong. It was definitely said! I just know it! But i want to say in person. I don't wanna say it through a message or a video. Because then i can see his face, hold his hand, . . . hug him. I can loose myself in him. I don't need to day dream anymore because it would be real.

    I'm not gonna say anything for now cuz when i see him again, then i can really express myself. ^^ I was just really happy cuz then there was the "ah. i'm a pervert. XD" and "let's plan something" comments, and then his facial expression when looking at the phone. I felt like teleporting myself at that moment and giving the biggest kiss he can imagine (and doing my favorite pose. . .). I really need this power now. XD

    I kept getting messages during our talk, but i didn't pay any attention.
    They can wait. :3
    Right now there is something more important.

    I could sense there is a little bit of jealousy (and that's normal because i find myself being jealous too) but i trust him. *^^* I hope he trust me too. What i think about when i am jealous can be really ugly, so i don't want to talk about it. Anyway i am putting my trust. ^^

    Should i send something? I think i should. Even if its something small. I really wanna do it! hmmm. . . but what to send?
    GOT IT!
    I know what i want to do.

12 10月 2013


7日10月2013年17:24 時頃ポストした。

    Sometimes its like she spoils me on purpose. Many times she asks me questions about what i'm doing. Like last night she says "what are you doing? you're not putting it all in water right?". I just stop what i'm doing and say, "do YOU want to clean it?". Seriously I know what im doing, so just let me do it. She complains all the time how i forget things or didn't do it right, and she's always reminding me of things as if i don't know how to do it. Other times  (because i forgot since i have no interest) she explains things that she has already explained before. And again i just listen but i dont care for remembering. Many times i have my own way of doing things that are different from hers so i dont even bother trying to tell her "hey what about this way". I'm just tired.
    I was glad when i visited Joaquinito because i actually became happy and i realized how negative i had been (for outside things that i have no control over), and i had plenty of space to do things how i wanted to. Yea he was being a little protective but that's normal. Otherwise he understood how i am grumpy in the morning, and let me clean dishes the way i wanted to, and i had more responsibility over myself (which i loved).
    I'm starting to realize that i need to put myself in a situation where i am totally responsible over myself. And i want to! So that's what i'm doing, or atleast working for it.

    And i feel stressed just from being around negative comments. And now i see what Joaquinito meant by "it's always been the 2 of you". Sadly i never felt that way. . .

    Writing about this, i already feel stressed out so im gonna stop.

    Here's something that i wrote in the train earlier today. Didn't finish cuz was rushing to class.


    Change of topic: my new cellphone is awesome! It really does waste less battery!!! In the train usually my phone would have been close to dead just from using 1 application, but with this phone i was still around 80ish% battery. :DDD

    I tried craming words in my brain this morning but i just couldn't so i asked the teacher if i could take the test wednesday. I told her about my phone situation and how i didn't have much time to study this weekend. 

    And got a lovely message earlier at cafecito. *^^* I feel sooo happy but i constantly worry and i guard myself a bit so i am not as expressive as i CAN be because of my worry. Would the same thing happen again? Only time can tell me this answer. . .
    I really want a moscato or pino grigio right now. Or a matilda beer would also be fine. :/ And a hug.

    I am reading (still) "Please give me love", and I really feel sad for the girl character because i can relate to her in some ways too. I don't like to think about it, but it's true.

08 10月 2013

hafu underwear


    Sorry I don't write much lately >___<'''''
    Actually I am making something that requires me to write a lot, and i want to make it really special so i feel like apologizing to my own blog~. No worries. I promise it's something totally worth my time.

    All i can say for now is that i have to write a lot, but actually i don't mind. I like it. ^^

    Soooooo, today got a new phone: iPhone 5c. The one i had got water damage (in the inside...how did that happen? i mean is it sensitive to even moisture? cuz i brought it in with me to a sauna room... XD) I'm happy with it. But more excited about my new sexy shoes. :3 They were on sale too. But it's the first time I bought heels for me (like more than 2.5 inch heels). I told my ma "yknow. . . i'm getting a little older. I'm going to bars more often, and i want to go to salsa clubs and dance with good shoes; not gym shoes or flats.". I wanted to look sexy. :3
    Plus it's kinda hard. . . . actually its extremely hard for me to find shoes in Japan (why are their feet so tiny?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!! T^T), so I figured let me get shoes here for different occasions. That way i can just bring them with me. I really didn't like going shoe shopping over there cuz they never had my size. . .for women shoes. I realized my size was considered guy size. XD!
    And underwear for girls is really different too! To me they kinda looked like a younger version of my grandmother. . . >____> So i have to get that here too (and some bras). I like my underwear to have less fabric, and i'm more into silky stuff, not cotton. . . I looked at bras only a little bit cuz what I did see had so much decoration on it. And I couldn't figure out my size. So me and my friends went to go eat instead.

    So yea. Will have to get that stuff here where I can get shoes my size, bras in my size AND style, and my sexy underwear that doesn't look like grama underwear.

    And I was talking with Jose about this halloween. And i know i want to go out with friends or do something! And of course you have to dress up/ :P and its a perfect time to use my new shoes! I want to be something sexy! I'm young and i have the body for it, so i wanna do it! If he was here it would be more fun, especially when i get tipsy. I am sooooooo not shy when i'm tipsy. Actually i noticed i tend to be kinda flirty, although it has to be with someone i'm interested in. If i'm not interested in them, i don't do anything other than just. . . .talk more. XD But my shyness is totally gone.

    Jose was telling me about his friend and how when he gets drunk he becomes really angry, and he was surprised because it really showed what kind of person he is and how much he changed. But i know i don't change like this. The only thing that changes about me is i don't have balance (i loose my ability to walk. . . .properly), i mix languages and i don't care of my mistakes (so maybe my japanese is better when i am drunk XD), and i flirt with those who i like (this is why i think it would be really interesting if he was here. would i be able to control myself? (o___o?). . .? ) Otherwise, I'm the same person. *^^*

    But anyways, for class tomorrow i have to present a piece of news. I like going to Japan Times because they have interesting things about language, like this. This is what i will talk about. Before i was thinking of talking about this one, but is a little difficult to talk about in japanese. =_= And i found the main site for the documentary film here, but they are only doing in the coasts of US, not in the middle!! TT_______TT Anyways, a special someone showed me this song and i really liked it. :3 So i'm putting it here and listen to it a billion times while i finish my homework. 明日単語の小テストあるね。。。。=__=

I'm totally planning to sing this in karaoke. And the singer is actually good looking, but i have someone better. :P

Oh and here's another one that i like.

Gonna have fun doing homework and having less sleep. >____>

I still like the original version better.

04 10月 2013







 他の俳句も詠んだやで〜 読んで読んで*^^*





    10.1.2013 is an official date now! He keeps surprising me. And when he does, it's like i can't think for the next 20 minutes. My mind is just blank. It's like my eyes get wider and i don't move or think for 20 minutes. XD But i love it. I feel so happy (after the shock). I have to think of a present quickly... :3


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