Sometimes its like she spoils me on purpose. Many times she asks me questions about what i'm doing. Like last night she says "what are you doing? you're not putting it all in water right?". I just stop what i'm doing and say, "do YOU want to clean it?". Seriously I know what im doing, so just let me do it. She complains all the time how i forget things or didn't do it right, and she's always reminding me of things as if i don't know how to do it. Other times (because i forgot since i have no interest) she explains things that she has already explained before. And again i just listen but i dont care for remembering. Many times i have my own way of doing things that are different from hers so i dont even bother trying to tell her "hey what about this way". I'm just tired.
I was glad when i visited Joaquinito because i actually became happy and i realized how negative i had been (for outside things that i have no control over), and i had plenty of space to do things how i wanted to. Yea he was being a little protective but that's normal. Otherwise he understood how i am grumpy in the morning, and let me clean dishes the way i wanted to, and i had more responsibility over myself (which i loved).
I'm starting to realize that i need to put myself in a situation where i am totally responsible over myself. And i want to! So that's what i'm doing, or atleast working for it.
And i feel stressed just from being around negative comments. And now i see what Joaquinito meant by "it's always been the 2 of you". Sadly i never felt that way. . .
Writing about this, i already feel stressed out so im gonna stop.
Here's something that i wrote in the train earlier today. Didn't finish cuz was rushing to class.
Change of topic: my new cellphone is awesome! It really does waste less battery!!! In the train usually my phone would have been close to dead just from using 1 application, but with this phone i was still around 80ish% battery. :DDD
I tried craming words in my brain this morning but i just couldn't so i asked the teacher if i could take the test wednesday. I told her about my phone situation and how i didn't have much time to study this weekend.
And got a lovely message earlier at cafecito. *^^* I feel sooo happy but i constantly worry and i guard myself a bit so i am not as expressive as i CAN be because of my worry. Would the same thing happen again? Only time can tell me this answer. . .
I really want a moscato or pino grigio right now. Or a matilda beer would also be fine. :/ And a hug.
I am reading (still) "Please give me love", and I really feel sad for the girl character because i can relate to her in some ways too. I don't like to think about it, but it's true.