homes

(Real day of post: 31日5月2013年, a las 17:20ぽい)

    For those who dont know what ぽい means, it means ~ish. like 17ish, red-ish, blue-ish, summerish, etc. 

    So talked with Jose about book project stuff, and showed him some of my writings which im glad he liked. i think it would be good to do a compilation of short stories in a book, and then if its not too complicated bring in some collaborations. The goal is to get something published before we both leave. 

    面白い点(interesting point): we both started talking about brittany and felt the same uneasyness from her. When it came to monse we were at different points though. He said monse is like a cute little school girl. I said i feel like "just say it already!!" cuz shes too nervous. "spit it out girl!!". Im sure if we were talking about a guy it would be a different conversation. Oh yea! Jose asked me about him. "so how is that going since the last time we talked about that guy?". 

    I said "its going nowhere. its like you said: you say things but my heart was saying somethig else". I just left it at that cuz i still find myself feeling that way at times. plus 1 sentence explains it all. 

いつも変化してることだと思うよ。(i think its an always changing thing./ an everchanging thing.)

    on the train now. on way home. you know. i was reading about homeland vs. home from this Japan-Brazil thing that Takuyuki Tsuda wrote (or maybe takeyuki.....can't remember), and i didnt learn anything new honestly. i know where my homeland is and that wont ever change, but i dont really have a home right now. i have a place where i live but even that place i dont consider home. i want tomake my own home and decide where that will be. i think because at one point i had 2 homes (after moving to US, i traveled constantly between PR and here. i was only here for school and the rest of the time i was in PR. i didnt necesarily love it but atleast i could go back to what i considered my home at that time, eat the food i grow up with, be surounded by people i felt better with. i didnt feel like alien.) , i never really considered where i live now a home. 

    I see it as a material thing; a place to live in and have a closet, kitchen, etc.  There was 1 summer when i didnt go to PR and i was soooo bored. That was the first time i was shocked at how people live here: utterly boring! First there is no beach so no beach BBQ, everyone likes to be inside most of the time, cant go down the street to the supermarket, etc etc etc.

    But anyway, i did agree with one point Tsuda said: that sometimes your homeland changes. At this point my homeland hasnt changed, but my perception of it has changed only because i have been exposed to many things and thats not bad. i talked with her about this. she told me how in PR she never knew the difference between chinese, japanese, and thai. everything is just called chinese.(that's very true since my grama calls anything asian chinese. it pisses me off.) there was even a mediteranean restaurant in old san juan but she never went and chinese food was also considered junk food like american food. its funny how people change. now when we hear about a new thing that we dont know about, we say " yea lets go" and 2 days later we are there.