giant condom

(Real day of post: 5日6月2013年, a las 12:15ぽい)

    I still think this looks like a giant condom. Seriously!!! Doesn't that look like a giant condom?!?!!!!?! If you say no, you're a virgin. I'd be scared for the girl if the guy would have to use this. That wouldn't even be sex anymore. . . It be like homocide by giant condom.

    I only noticed once i was on the train that i forgot to email myself the recent draft of the script for today! Luckily i have another even earlier draft that i can still use. It's not what i wanted to use but its all i got right now. :/ Maybe if i buy my teacher a cortadito he'll still be nice about it even though hes from peru. or an americanized one. jajajajjaj

    And i did one of the guy characters based on my brother. I might as well call him Joaquin but i used another name instead. Plus Joaquin will never know unless for some out-of-the-blue reason he finds out, but by that point i would argue that technically i didnt use his name and have already claimed 100% copyrights since it is my work, so, yea!

    But definitly set on the title! 懐かしい将来の思いで。Memories of a nostalgic future. At first i wasnt sure whether to use 将来 or 未来 for the future word, but because this project on film would only be about 3-4minutes i choose 将来 because of the speed of the story. It didnt make sense to to use 未来 (both words mean future but 未来 implies a future that is much farther ahead than 将来). I like the concept of something nostalgic that hasn't happened yet, yet you already feel that way because in your mind you already picturing it. In your mind you are living in the future but still physically in the present moment.

    I remember at one point of the trip i became sad because i knew i had to leave and i was feeling nostalgia for what has happened already and didnt want to leave. I had mentioned this around the second to last week, and one girl had told me "ugh, just leave that for the last week of this trip". And then the last week comes and everyone became a little sad because the trip was ending. But by that time i had already expressed my sadness the week earlier, so when everyone else was sad i was happy and glad to had made such memories.

    Still have to prepare for 会話試験. Gonna do that friday after class. Everyone took the time slots that worked for me.

~*~ Later this same day 20:37頃 ~*~

    

    Actually didn't have night class today, so Junghua, katie, me, and that other dude whose name i dont know hung out for a bit. Still in school now actually. Reading stuff on slavery in Brazil. (a little boring) I'd rather read about imperialism or if i didnt have any homework i would like to finish the book A Tale For The Time Being by Ruth Ozeki which i mention here.

    Guy from russia class just passed by and called me to wave hi. I didn't know he remembered my name. I only remember that he's majoring in spanish studies and was in the military. Now i feel bad that i didn't remember his name. . . Pretty good looking guy.

    Saw screenwriting teacher inthe subway today while me and jose were heading to cafecito. He looked so zoned out. I was about to ask how old he was because he really doesnt look or sound that much older than me but then he came out the opposite way. I guess he was thinking very deeply.

    Talked with Jose about my findings and my theory and who it might be, but we came to the same thought: that it doesn't make sense if it is him because we don't talk anymore. And this is where i am confused, (and i told him this). 

    Jose said that if it is him then he would have said something by now. I dont agree on this with him. He also said "maybe it's just coincidence", but this seems too big to be just a coincidence, and saying something is a coincidence doesn't solve anything. . . Then i asked him if this is crazy?! right? and he says yea. I say: i feel like i'm turning crazy.


~*~at home 23:31-ish~*~


    mmm. . . . :(

    I wish i didn't fuckin care, but i do. 
this is exactly why i don't like using facebook! 
i find out things that are only hurting me.
My heart will not agree but it will stop now.

    at times like this i wished i had eddies 
shoulder to cry on.

    i'm so stupid.

    i wish i could go back in time and warn myself, 
"hey as much as you would like to. don't do it.
instead enjoy your time with other various people".

why does someone else get the attention and not me?

   i should have known the minute i left.
that's when it turned completely something different.

gosh im such a fucking idiot.