I recently was reading another newsletter from Matthew Hussey and he posted his response to a woman who asked what she should do with a guy who has been giving her hot and cold. (I don't really know what that means...) And he said this guy may be doing it for 2 main/possible reasons. The first one was this:
1. It could be that he has been hurt in the past and is scared of making himself vulnerable; which is why he feels the need to break away when he realizes how close he is getting to you.
And he went to explain in more detail. But it got me thinking if I had ever acted this way... recently when I am aware of my feeling of the moment, I make myself busy. With school work, activities, friends... Anything that can get me distracted so that I don't have to think about it too much. So yes, I am avoiding what I feel at times. But I think that if the other person shows that they truly and genuinely care then I am ok. Because I get confirmation from them, and so I worry less about being hurt again.
It doesn't matter if you or the other person does the breaking up, both people get hurt in some way. For the better or worse those experiences change a person. That changed person will act differently around the next person they meet. They may be more closed in, or scared, or optimistic. In the end, everybody wants to be loved and be happy.
A friend once told me that if your relationship is not adding happiness to your life, it's time to walk away. (This is applied to any kind of relationship.)
You are the one who chooses to be happy, sad, bored. When you are with someone else, that other person gives off a vibe or sensation. (I can't think of a good word...) Around some people, you may feel more bored or just not really having chemistry so not interested in them. Others make you feel alive and makes you think if all this time (before I saw this person) you were grumpy, because they just add so much wonderful feelings to you and you feel alive again!
Those are the type of people I want to surround myself with.