It seems that today, while I was writing an assignment, I was beginning to ask myself so many questions. The assignment has to do with character building, so you have to ask details and really get to the details of WHO this person is. It was an ok exercise....
But I ended up asking questions about things again (like usual), and started worrying about something that really doesn't matter, because it's in the future. It's like I had thought too much on certain details and made a scenario that is one of the many possibilities. Why I started worrying I don't know why. But then I had talked with her about it, and she had asked me the same thing "why are you worrying about something that hasn't happened?". I didn't answer because I didn't have an answer at that time. Plus, it opened my mind and was wondering the same thing! why?
Maybe it's just my insecurities?...
Well that's what friends are there for: to keep you calm when you go crazy (especially in your love life), tell you bluntly those pants make you look bigger,
and TAN TAN TAAAAAAAAN, the most important,
go to 6flags with me because I'm so nice for giving you a free ticket to a day that isn't open to the public so we can go on american eagle like 6 times with not much wait!!!!! :DDDD AND!! The company gives each ticket holder an 'allowance' (spending money), so really it's a free day for all of us.
Can you tell?
I'm really excited! The past 2 years the company didn't do 6flags and instead did a zoo...Not cool! But now that my BFF eddie is gone in the military, I'm not sure if he'll be able to come... But for sure annie will come! I already asked brittany but she told me she doesn't like roller-coasters.... I'm not asking monse because she's not really that close a friend... andrew would ruin it, so no.... edi is in romania.... erik didn't say no but didn't say yes, so i'm assuming he doesn't wanna go :( .... i'm not sure if i want to ask jose to come. same with idaris... and kevin?...no... i admit it would be cool if erik and friend of his could come or something, but I think that's not likely to happen..
graaaaa I need more people to come!!!!!
4 or 5 people would be a good number!
only because i think 5 or 6 tickets is the maximum? I'm not sure yet... but it's a small enough group where everyone gets to talk to each other. and enough where we can ride together and not get separated too much.
I think I worked out 4 times just because I didn't want to think about it. And because I wanted to work out! Like Jose (who I ran into today during my class break), I have my personal standards that I would like to achieve. ^^
I have already decided that it is not something important and should be discarded. Like the song from Imagine Dragons, I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones enough to make my system grow. Welcome to the new age. I'm radioactive. That's how I feel like right now. If it is what I think it is (with this possibility that I just thought of), then I have to make my stance clear and hold back more.
Like I told Yuta; maybe but probably not. And that's when he said; in that case I would say no because I would keep wanting it. And then I said; well that's what I consider part of a monogamous relationship.
He's the typical japanese guy that is afraid of commitment for the same reason every other guy says (in jp), because they are afraid of it not working out in the future and divorce. So he literally is just screwing around. Of course, I didn't push my views on him, but it's going to be very likely that he won't find someone to be serious with if he keeps doing what he's doing and keeps that mentality of his. He says he does want to find someone. And I said: well.....if she sleeps with you or is really sexual from the very start, she isn't serious about you. Maybe she will become serious, but it's known that guys get bored if they get it too easily... And of course that is what you want NOW, but later on it's going to slap you in the ass.
One time, he had a sex buddy, and I was all "be careful. because girls tend to complicate things. she may develop more feelings for you during that time and you will have to prepare yourself for when that moment comes when she says 'i want to be more than just sex buddies'. you will need to know if what you feel for her is just sex or if you genuinely care". Of course he ended it, and I knew it would happen that way. Sometimes you can't help yourself and control your emotions. Once you start putting feelings into an equation it becomes messy. That can be either a good or bad thing, depending. Some people keep it a mess and/or keep complicating it even more. Other people turn that mess into something beautiful.