５日９月２０１３年２３：４２時っぽいポストしたわ。
I couldn't concentrate at all today! I tried studying, interval training, drawing; but none of them worked. So i just ended up cleaning all the floors and taking a shower while blasting the music. Every now and then when studying, my imagination would just explode so it was difficult to get back on track on what I was doing, so ended that. In my interval training I couldn't focus on my breathing and my steps since I was so distracted, that I didn't even record my timing since it was kind of irregular. And when drawing (which this surprised me too), my imagination exploded even more! I am always focused when drawing!
I can even talk to people and still be focused on what drawing i'm doing but not today. Have i ever felt like this before? I don't think so...
Towards the afternoon I just gave up in trying not to think, and let my mind go. (I had woken up pretty early so everything I just explained was early in the morning. Including the cleaning.) The sun was at its hottest so i just laid outside tanning and listening to music. It felt peaceful... At one point i found my heart racing. wtf?! Definitely today i had no control over what i was thinking. I tried but i guess my feelings know better right? I felt much better after i gave up this little war between myself and i.
It's not that i am nervous, it's more of being super mega. I told Jose about how I get nervous right before something happens, because i have anxiety (just a little), but when it actually starts it's completely gone. I just want something to start already, and then once it starts i feel so much better because i am doing it.
The other day i explained to him that when i was in track&field, (i mostly did field and 1600 meter run) and right before a race would start, i always felt nervous and had that feeling like i had to go pee. And sometimes i did have to go pee after a race! But as soon as i was positioned and the gun was shot i felt great. I wasn't nervous or anxious. It just goes away for me. The only time i am anxious/nervous is those few minutes (or depending on the situation, it can be hours...like yesterday before dinner) right before something starts.
Which reminds me!
Michael's older brother spilled coffee on me yesterday at Cafecito. It wasn't extremely hot so it didn't burn me or anything. I was just upset because now i smelled like coffee. Black coffee. Both Michael and his brother were like "are you ok? did it burn you? i'll pay for your dry cleaning. how can i repay you? blah blah blah". They even offered to wipe me down but this was kind of uncomfortable for me so i said, "how about next time i come here, me and my friends get everything for free, and Michael will pay for it. those are my conditions". They accepted, and that was it. (*^^*)
I asked for the bathroom key, went to the bathroom, took my shirt off, and started washing the part with coffee on it with the hand soap that was there. And they didn't have one of those blow-drying hand things, so I kinda just waved it in the air for a while until only a small portion of it was still damp. It was a relatively thin blouse so it didn't take too long to get dry. So I put my shirt back on, and head back to cafecito.
When I sit back down with my friends, I see another hot chocolate with the message "because i wasn't able to dry you off" written on top of the lid (had to be from Michael of course). I was flattered, and i do like hot chocolate but i had just already finished one and i wasn't in the mood for another one. A little bit later one of Michael's friends who works as a professor at Columbia was asking if i was ok and other questions. But honestly i wasn't really worried about it. Really. Because i know people make clumsy mistakes, and he showed me that he wanted to take responsibility for his actions. So i wasn't mad at all.
I would have been irritated if i had not worn a black top that day. I am soooooo glad that i wore a black top, because then i would have been like "ok Jose! we are going shopping, and you're coming with me cuz there is no way that I am going to dinner to see a hot guy with a stained shirt!". And actually i told this to Jose also. And he also figured that we would have done this had i not worn a black blouse. He's a good friend.
During this time i taught Jose how to look at empty space (for fabric being worn) and how fabric folds depending on where the pressure is put. I only know this because i need to know in order for clothes to look normal when i am drawing them. I was pointing out to him, as an example, that i can see he has large muscles on his legs because of the way his pants don't hug him in certain areas (this is what i mean by the empty space), but in other parts it is clearly visible. And I also showed him that i can notice this because of the natural crease that is created when he stands up.
Then i pointed him out the way the fabric of his shirt was creating folds that started from his left shoulder and did a natural curve to his right hip. This then tells me that he is leaning more on his left shoulder than the other. Had he put equal weight on both his shoulders, his shirt would appear more flat and should not have many folds. So he tried it, and guess what? It happened. jajaja He thought it was cool.
OH!
And I was able to take off the coffee smell and replace it with soap smell. XD I like smelling like soap. I mean, have you ever passed a person who had just taken a shower and you thought to yourself, "mmmm he/she smells really clean"?!
Anyways, it's getting late and I need to wake up early tomorrow to do my hair. Gotta look good. :P
I couldn't concentrate at all today! I tried studying, interval training, drawing; but none of them worked. So i just ended up cleaning all the floors and taking a shower while blasting the music. Every now and then when studying, my imagination would just explode so it was difficult to get back on track on what I was doing, so ended that. In my interval training I couldn't focus on my breathing and my steps since I was so distracted, that I didn't even record my timing since it was kind of irregular. And when drawing (which this surprised me too), my imagination exploded even more! I am always focused when drawing!
I can even talk to people and still be focused on what drawing i'm doing but not today. Have i ever felt like this before? I don't think so...
Towards the afternoon I just gave up in trying not to think, and let my mind go. (I had woken up pretty early so everything I just explained was early in the morning. Including the cleaning.) The sun was at its hottest so i just laid outside tanning and listening to music. It felt peaceful... At one point i found my heart racing. wtf?! Definitely today i had no control over what i was thinking. I tried but i guess my feelings know better right? I felt much better after i gave up this little war between myself and i.
It's not that i am nervous, it's more of being super mega. I told Jose about how I get nervous right before something happens, because i have anxiety (just a little), but when it actually starts it's completely gone. I just want something to start already, and then once it starts i feel so much better because i am doing it.
The other day i explained to him that when i was in track&field, (i mostly did field and 1600 meter run) and right before a race would start, i always felt nervous and had that feeling like i had to go pee. And sometimes i did have to go pee after a race! But as soon as i was positioned and the gun was shot i felt great. I wasn't nervous or anxious. It just goes away for me. The only time i am anxious/nervous is those few minutes (or depending on the situation, it can be hours...like yesterday before dinner) right before something starts.
Which reminds me!
Michael's older brother spilled coffee on me yesterday at Cafecito. It wasn't extremely hot so it didn't burn me or anything. I was just upset because now i smelled like coffee. Black coffee. Both Michael and his brother were like "are you ok? did it burn you? i'll pay for your dry cleaning. how can i repay you? blah blah blah". They even offered to wipe me down but this was kind of uncomfortable for me so i said, "how about next time i come here, me and my friends get everything for free, and Michael will pay for it. those are my conditions". They accepted, and that was it. (*^^*)
I asked for the bathroom key, went to the bathroom, took my shirt off, and started washing the part with coffee on it with the hand soap that was there. And they didn't have one of those blow-drying hand things, so I kinda just waved it in the air for a while until only a small portion of it was still damp. It was a relatively thin blouse so it didn't take too long to get dry. So I put my shirt back on, and head back to cafecito.
When I sit back down with my friends, I see another hot chocolate with the message "because i wasn't able to dry you off" written on top of the lid (had to be from Michael of course). I was flattered, and i do like hot chocolate but i had just already finished one and i wasn't in the mood for another one. A little bit later one of Michael's friends who works as a professor at Columbia was asking if i was ok and other questions. But honestly i wasn't really worried about it. Really. Because i know people make clumsy mistakes, and he showed me that he wanted to take responsibility for his actions. So i wasn't mad at all.
I would have been irritated if i had not worn a black top that day. I am soooooo glad that i wore a black top, because then i would have been like "ok Jose! we are going shopping, and you're coming with me cuz there is no way that I am going to dinner to see a hot guy with a stained shirt!". And actually i told this to Jose also. And he also figured that we would have done this had i not worn a black blouse. He's a good friend.
During this time i taught Jose how to look at empty space (for fabric being worn) and how fabric folds depending on where the pressure is put. I only know this because i need to know in order for clothes to look normal when i am drawing them. I was pointing out to him, as an example, that i can see he has large muscles on his legs because of the way his pants don't hug him in certain areas (this is what i mean by the empty space), but in other parts it is clearly visible. And I also showed him that i can notice this because of the natural crease that is created when he stands up.
Then i pointed him out the way the fabric of his shirt was creating folds that started from his left shoulder and did a natural curve to his right hip. This then tells me that he is leaning more on his left shoulder than the other. Had he put equal weight on both his shoulders, his shirt would appear more flat and should not have many folds. So he tried it, and guess what? It happened. jajaja He thought it was cool.
OH!
And I was able to take off the coffee smell and replace it with soap smell. XD I like smelling like soap. I mean, have you ever passed a person who had just taken a shower and you thought to yourself, "mmmm he/she smells really clean"?!
Anyways, it's getting late and I need to wake up early tomorrow to do my hair. Gotta look good. :P
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