Happy summer

２５日８月２０１３年００：５０時っぽいってポスト書いた。

      Finally found a use for this. I still remember how that サラリマン just handed it to me while i was walking to the bus stop. All i know is that he was talking really fast with this exhausted expression on his face, and i couldn't say no so i just took it and did this awkward "ok..." type of smile. I never used it until today because i had already bought myself my own fan (the one i can fold), cuz these don't last very long when you are carrying them around.

     It kinda just sits on top of my desk...looking at me. :O

     OMGOSH! jajaja. My fan is a pervert!

     And now I have 2 weeks left of summer vacation. I had already given up on X since I figured he didn't have interest in me (片想いだった), and I have moved on. When I told myself to move on i was a little sad for like. . .a week and i kinda acted mean towards him but i felt like being mean. How can you NOT like me? I am awesome! I know he thinks I'm attractive so i don't get why i was not pursued. :P So most likely I will never know, but I really don't give a shit anyway. 

     Then I had hung out with the group, although we split once Marcela and Fernanda went back to Brazil. Me an Jose are gonna do a "i miss you" video for them. Hanging out with Javier though, you really need a lot of energy... that's for sure. And not wear a dress. 

     Since it has been summer, I've been wearing all my summer clothes including dresses that i don't usually wear since it's always so fuckin cold. And one day i happen to wear one while hanging out with him and he asks me if i want to throw a frisbee at the beach before the movie starts. I'm here like ...... um....usually i would love to but i put effort into my hair today and i'm wearing a fuckin dress! I'm not gonna go sweat so that my hair starts to turn curly, and I start sweating under this fabric. And i can't exactly run around in a dress. I just thought it was a stupid question. Of course it was hard to say no, so I 'participated' (not using 100% of my energy), but not long after I said "i'm sweating" blah blah blah and sat down in the shade.

     I'm sorry i wasn't much fun, but my hair is important. :P I may be a tomboy, but I do have my 'girly' days. Actually this wasn't a girly thing per say. It's just that when you put effort into your wardrobe and you know, looking nice, you don't want to sweat...unless you are about to have sex in the next few minutes but you would be taking those clothes off anyway so it's a different situation.

     Then I've had the joy of having 牛角, and I actually learned they are opening a location in miami! :DDDDD I hope they open while I am over there! I know Joaquinito isn't huge on eating like. . .any meat, but I'm going regardless if he wants to try it or not. I wasn't a huge lover of meat to begin with, but after having yakiniku, o my fack! I need to have my weekly iron intake. :P 

     I tried brazilian BBQ with Fernanda but it just wasn't the same...I only liked certain meats, and I was growing impatient lol when what I wanted didn't come around, and its kinda expensive... Plus I rather cook it myself. I guess I like gyukaku too much. XD ? NAAAAA! There is no such thing!

    Hmmm...what else was there? Oh yea! I'm gonna make my notes into a PDF document. Figured it would be nice to have a digital copy on top of what I have already done for class. It's nice to have the physical copy when I am in class so I don't forget words, but other times I just want a digital one so I can quickly hyperlink to a grammar point or something. But gonna do notes before class starts first, and then the PDF. (On top of doing paperwork for graduate school. That should be fun.)

〜＊〜２３：５２時頃〜＊〜

友達：ジェシーー、日本の何が好きで勉強してんの？

私：hmmmいい質問ね。

今国際関係の事に興味あるし日本の大学の方がアメリカの大学よりもっと安いし、日本に勉強して仕事したい。また子供の時お母さんは何処に住むのを決めた。今私、決めるよ！

けど色んな事が好き。なんか、他人の考え方、料理、歴史、トカトカ。

     But I know from myself that I tend to answer questions in different ways all the time. Even for the same question. Everyone always asks the same questions that tend to be more like interviewing you but not necessarily getting to the reasons behind something or how something came to be.

     Changing the topic : I found these awesome Iphone cases and so putting them on my xmas/bday list. I mean one is like 3 bucks, the other is around 7 bucks. I'm not asking for much. The only thing i really want is a Tria Beauty.

     Changing the topic again : I'm not sure whether to believe that he has interest in me. He did answer my questions seriously and thought, but I know he has to be talking to other girls. So I can't be truly sure until I see with my own eyes in Osaka/Tokyo. We can flirt all we want but I will be guarding my feelings still. I hate infidelity and I'm taking no part in it. I do like that he basically has kept in contact with me like....everyday since he messaged me (yes he messaged me first. actually he's the one that found me), and has been respectful but like I said, I have to be tactful until I arrive over there. That's when I will know for sure and will find out. For now I am a sexy flirting biatch! :P

     Which reminds me, I'm kinda avoiding going to Cafecito so much only cuz Michael is being too obvious on his crush on me. He has his hot friend in on it too. The other day, me and Jose were just chillin' at Cafecito and we find that he and his hot friend keep glancing our way from time to time, and of course Michael chills with us too, chats, compliments and teases me, etc. 片想い's are so....heartbreaking. 

     I just don't feel anything for the guy. I don't find him attractive, and when he does talk with me he's mostly being a teasing flirt to which I can't really connect with. He only talks seriously to Jose and that's fine with me. Plus, it seems like he has that whole ''multiple jobs", "i do music on the side but i have this job as a safety net so i'm not a starving artist" sort of thing. 

     When I am with someone, or will be with someone, I want them to be successful in whatever they want to achieve or are already in the process of doing. I don't wanna hear "i'm waiting for this..." or "i'm not sure how to do it yet (or what to do)". I want them to be confident in a goal and already going for it! Cuz I have goals and I am doing them right now, so I expect the same from my partner. Only because it is important to have a stable job/career with stable income. And I don't mean being rich either. Just something where me and the other person don't have to worry about how to pay bills and other important shit.

     Anyway this post is long enough. I'm going to take a shower and do some more notes. Tomorrow I will also be doing notes and studying. Day after tomorrow I'll research grad stuff again. She already asked me "what are your plans for this week" and told me earlier "you should tan outside. you never know when the sun will be this hot again". I said, "i've had a whole month of relaxing and hanging out with friends and tanning as I walk. It's time to study now". I'm sorry but I have priorities to take care of. Night~　お休み〜