Today is thursday. About 5 days after graduation.
I got an email from Company A telling me they were not able to continue with my application. And I actually was the one to email Company B about whether I should give them an updated version of my resume. They responded with a "you can give us your updated resume, but unfortunately we were not able to continue with your application". Their reason was because there were more qualified applicants (and not that many positions), but that they would consider me for their positions in April (hence why it would be ok to give them my updated resume). But I just thought . . .
I really wanted this job! ! ! !
I know someone who also applied around the same time I did, who is less qualified (compared to my qualifications regarding this specific job) but went ahead to the next step.
So I believe that it's not because of other "more qualified applicants". I think what broke it was that I got late to my interview, and therefore didn't consider me for positions starting in September-ish. Being late to an interview can either make it or break it.
But they didn't exactly say 100% no either. . .
It just pisses me off a bit because I wish they would have been a little more honest with me in regards to why my application didn't make it through. And I was the one to email them. They didn't bother to be prompt and email me. . . ( >_____>)*
Also I was disappointed that Gaba didn't consider me either, but it's ok. I will apply again for these places, depending on how my current job goes.
So what will happen from now on is I'll go ahead with the job from Interac which starts in September. They weren't able to find me a specific location BEFORE the departure date, but I was likeable so they put me through their alternate track. Alternate track just means that I will be staying in Tokyo for a few days or weeks (never a few months according to what they told me), and during that time I will go through training, stay in paid accommodations, and fill any substitute positions. They'll be looking for a spot for me also (I would imagine they don't want to keep paying for me staying in Tokyo).
Once they find the place, I'll go to wherever that is and start working.
But now more than ever, I feel like my bf doesn't wanna talk to me. . . isn't interested, or just wants his space. I've been wanting to tell him about all this job stuff, and recently I went shopping so I wanted to show him what I bought. He says he wants to see it, but then he goes on to do something else. He told me, when I find out about the job stuff to tell him. . .but it's like. . . . he's always doing something else. Actions are louder than words. So it's like he says these things but doesn't act on it, so I feel like he doesn't want to know as much as I thought he wanted.
So I'm not gonna press for it anymore. I'm not gonna keep giving hints to call me or whatever. I'm sure if and when he wants to know, he will ask, and I'll tell him.
Wao- - -
I felt like my friend Fernanda there for a second. I like her very much. And she's unique cuz she has this policy of "If you don't ask, I'm not going to tell you". And she truly means it. At first it was a bit strange but you get used to it.
People are different, and I guess I shouldn't be so harsh on him for it.
I think for me it's just that, when I'm dating a person or when that person is family, I have high expectations for them. Becuz they are special to me and very close in my life. With friends (especially with people that are just acquaintances), I have absolutely no expectations. They can screw up their lives and I'm not gonna care much. I'll care a little bit. You know, try to give good advice so they don't screw it up. But they're not gonna have that treatment from me cuz I don't expect anything.
It's like hanging out with someone outside: I'm cool with it. Do whatever you want. Doesn't matter.
hanging out with someone in my house: there are rules and etiquette that you have to follow. Think whatever you want, but I'm welcoming you to where I live and feel the most comfortable so there are some manners you need to abide by. If you don't like it then don't come.
Pretty much all the friends I have are from other countries, and somehow they understand what I'm talking about. It's no mystery at all since this is part of daily life. But I seem to have a hard time with the American friends I have managed to keep just because in American culture there aren't any rules. (Correction: there are very few rules.) I have had more Chinese friends now and have come to understand their point of view that people in U.S. are like children compared to what they know.
But anyways, another example I can think of is tattoos. If a friend of mine gets it, I don't care. Good for them. I can't impose my beliefs on them. If a family member or person I am dating mentions they want to get one, I'm going to stop them as much as possible. For me? I would never get one. Yea, I've thought about it, but I was indecisive and figured my skin was already pretty. Didn't need another commitment. And I really like sitting in hot water, so I didn't want to have something that wouldn't allow me to enter onsen's or public baths (sentou).
Back to what I was talking about: I'm not sure if I can relax on my expectations for him. I'm finding it a bit difficult at the moment with my own feelings. He's young. I dunno if he wants to stay with me. :/
In the mean time, I found this guy who's pretty awesome. I wanted to share his video. Very good lyrics. It really went to my core.