30 3月 2013

Tenho saudade tuas

    This past week, I spent time in florida for spring break. Stayed at my brothers loft, met some new people, tried different drinks (don't really like pino Grigio....not that it's strong but the taste is bitter), and got tanned and burned. I noticed the little things that are completely different from midwest (mannequins with balloon boobs, the gratuity added to a check, the many people running/cycling/jogging outside, mostly spanish (LOVED that part), the beach/weather (reminds me of home), people are nicer on the street (vs here in naperville and chicago its completely normal to ignore someone), etc...

    I came there with no expectations nor plans on what to do; just to relax and enjoy my time, and I came back feeling amazing and alive again! It's more than just your vagina tingling XD, it's more than just that night out with your friends where you forget all the things that stress you out and big decisions you eventually need to make. I
think because I was in a bubble in Depaul for a while, a place that doesn't give me much ideas or challenges, that I had lost that feeling to really be excited and sad. So once I became surrounded by people who I love and care for, and meet new people who showed kindness to a complete stranger, it moved me. Depaul has taught me to fend for myself and made me realize that I was too nice to everyone. This Florida vacation taught me that from being hurt, I had closed myself even more because I was afraid of being hurt again. Closed in the sense of showing my feelings. I have always had a difficult time expressing myself when it comes to important things close to ones heart, but I had made it so that there was nothing great or amazing to look forward to. Hence why I had no plans when I came to Miami.

    I took part of a day (22 March 2013) to myself, while Joaquinito was at the meeting for the runners. This is the day before the race. I went to the beach, took my sandals off. I was wearing my dark blue flower skirt, my backwards pink shirt (from F21), the white dressy sandals, and a black vest. I walked along the water line, so I only touched the water with my feet and some of my ankle. But I walked a really long time and so far I didn't really know how far I had gone. I picked up seashells and wasn't really thinking about anything in particular; just how nice the weather was and how I would LOVE to live here. After some time, Joaquinito called and said to start heading back since we were going to meet with one of his friends. I said ok. Why not? I have nothing to do, and I like meeting new people.
So I try walking back at a faster pace so that I don't keep him waiting too long, and the friend is also not waiting long. By the time I had come back, part of my skirt was already wet from the ocean water and I had sand all over my feet and legs, so I went to the pool and used their shower outside to wipe it off. On the car ride to meet the friend, my legs were freezing and my skirt didn't get dry...at all...

   We come up to this friends' house, right before Joaquinito rings the doorbell I get a text from a friend but dismiss is quickly, and Ea opens the door. Joaquinito says hi and then I. We walk in and I also meet her brother E. Like always, >__> I'm shy so I literally have nothing to talk about...My mind is blank. Even on the way to the restaurant, I can't think of anything to say. -__- We go to this mix asian food place and order a bunch of rolls. I spotted the eel and just went for it. XD We start talking a bit, and I start to open up. Then it felt weird for all of us to talk to each other so I start talking with E, and before you know it Joaquinito and Ea are talking to each other while E and me are talking. (In the picture is the wine that we had. I actually liked it.) The fun part starts when we left and went to Tap42, to try out some beer. Me and Joaquinito are not beer people but we both know there were some here and there that we actually came to like. (For me its Redds' Apple Ale.) I liked it because I had more time to talk to E without Joaquinito over my shoulder. (He's a good brother but sometimes is a little overprotective.) We talked a lot actually and I had 2 beers (the 2nd one was 2.5% alcohol, but I was already feeling the headache from the previous wine and beer, so I took my time because I didn't want to walk over to Joaquinito and Ea and not be able to keep myself up.) I felt really comfortable talking to him, as if he was my best friend and were catching up. And this surprised me because I'm usually not like that with people that I'm attracted to; more like the total opposite. Don't worry, I wasn't drunk. :P I've been drunk, and that wasn't drunk. But after that, the day ended and never saw each other again.
    Nah! :P I still remember how we took bathroom breaks, and were standing the whole time we were there, and how at some point I felt he kept getting closer and closer and closer, and I didn't mind. After that day, I was helping Joaquinito at his station (for the marathon), E came over to help which came in handy many times.
    We couldn't always carry a conversation because runners were coming and knowing how much they were running, I wanted them to feel special and not like they had to ask me to write their time down. They were exhausted. The last thing they need is to deal with people that don't care or give a shit.

    After we were done there, we drove to the finish line. Joaquinito suggested for me to join E in his car, and I hesitated so I waited for the next red light to come. I liked this person so I just went for it. I didn't want to ask myself the awful "what if.." question. We came to the finish line, left Joaquinito to talk with his friends, went on a short walk on the beach, talked some more, came back and decided to hang out with his friends. (I didn't want to be bored with more of Joaquinitos' friends. jajaja xD i wanted to hang out with people more around my age. Plus he invited me so...) Oh, before the walk, I changed from my green tights to shorts. It was getting hot.
    He drove me back to Joaquinitos' loft, and there I decided to take a quick shower and put a cute dress on. It's better to overdress than underdress right? I learned quickly from the other night with his friend I that I should basically dress for everything. Plus the dresses I brought with me were still considered casual. Anyway, then he took me back to his place (cuz it was his turn to take a shower, and we were to meet his friends there). When I saw the place I thought, "shit. it's like other people are taking my ideas of living. xD". We meet with his friends, went out to eat (twice because the 1st time E forgot the paper where the discount was), and came back to his place. I felt like the night was too short! XD He suggested to walk outside or watch a movie and clearly said that it was my decision. I chose the movie because after drinking that strawberry mojito, I already had a headache and the sandals that I had aren't the walking type...
    Turns out it was a good idea since I got to chance to realize that he reeeeeeeeeally liked me. xD But in my head I kept thinking that I liked him and I didn't want to ruin anything. I'm not that 1night stand simply because I'm not that type. I don't deserve, I expect to get respect for my decisions and that's that. I am a 1 man woman and I can't change that. I kept thinking "i'm leaving on friday, don't fuck it up and remember what Patty said. i'm leaving on friday, don't fuck it up and remember what Patty said. i'm leaving on friday, don't fuck it up and remember what Patty said. I'M LEAVING ON FRIDAY don't fuck it up, and REMEMBER WHAT PATTY SAID".
    Anyway, that's how we met. ^^ We hung out more during that week. There was one day (literally the whole day) that we spent together,and also before I left. It's only sunday today (2nd day after i left), and we still talk. I hope that it stays that way. Certainly I wouldn't want to loose contact with a great person that I care about....nobody would like that to happen.... I have initiated the conversations lately.....but i hope that is both ways...

    Tomorrow it's my 1st day of school of the 3rd quarter. It's going to be so boring since the 1st day in this school, they baby you and I hate that. So I've asked a friend to see if he can hang out during my break. If not, I'll just go to Cafecito to eat and wait for my night class to start. (I LOVE LOVE LOVE their hot coco!) I know in my mind I would love to get a message like, "how are you doing? i miss you. text me back ASAP", but it's best to not have those type of expectations.
    This are the classes I'm taking this quarter:

Japanese 203 (Mon.Wed. 1-23pm, Fri 1-2pm),
Intro to Screenwriting 201 (Mon. Wed. 240-410pm),
Senior MOL class (Mon. 6-915pm),
Political Science 359 (Wed. 6-915pm).

Finishing up all the senior stuff, so that next year is just focusing on the animation minor and japanese language classes, looking at grad school, etc... Yea this post is long enough....

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