DA POST

On Tuesday (yesterday) i had written this post on my deviantart account. Basically i rant about my feelings. :P
Here it is:

1) journal views
i just realized that i have more journal views than actual art views?
that doesn't make sense.
is what i write more interesting than what I draw?
i mean do i really do that much of a shitty job in my drawings?
or are people just lazy to click the "view gallery" link?
so just wanted to point that out.

i mean i realize that i don't have many views for my deviations,
but i also think i don't completely submit shit in DA....

2) criticism
today in animation class, we pitched our beat boards. of course it's
affected me. i would be lying if i had said some shit like, "you're
annoying as hell, but i dont let your words get to me".
what is important is: i was told that my characters looked too similar,
and that the only things that set them apart was their hair and the
fact that the UK guy has a mustache. but i'm like, "um....they
have totally different clothes on....". but i didn't say this.
second, for one girl the intro was confusing because i just didn't bother
explaining it that much. she asked, "what's the reason?". I say, "he
wants to make money". she says, "i just don't get why he wants
to make money". and again i'm thinking, "well during the 1600's,
europe wanted to expand their economic power and other silly things",
but i didn't want to sound mean...
and third, what had annoyed me the most, is that the girl i just
utterly just...don't like, says things like (again) the characters look
too similar, and asks if i'm a fan of hetalia (totally useless question),
because it looked like i just copied from it. (seriously? that means
that you totally weren't paying attention to what i was saying since
all you do is talk about yourself and ignore everyone else by gluing your
eyes to your shitty laptop, or it means that you haven't seen much of
hetalia and you're just basing your opinion based on like part of the first
episode.)
trust me there are a lot of things that i thought after she said that,
but she just isn't worth it.     .....bitch.

but what i liked most is that the teacher noticed the good things about it,
and the way he put what i had to work on was more of constructive criticism.
everyone else in that class, its just so easy to criticize something but when
it comes to suggestions they have nothing to say.

don't worry bitches. i have an opinion. i may not always say it because
it's not appropriate for the time, and i'd rather just ignore the person.

graaaaaaa. this gets me so pissed off.

3) deleted contact
some people may get mad at me for what i am saying now, but take this
into consideration before your brain starts working with no background info
on the situation.
*cough* *cough* person B is all nice to me and shit, and i figured i could be
friends with person B so i ask for their phone number. (its easier to keep in
contact that way). this B person is like your typical 'me' generation of americans
who has a passive aggressive nature, and thinks they already know everything,
and talk about themselves alot. anyway, we start talking for a bit,
and recently person B has texted me a couple times (i respond), but just
leaves you hanging. yknow? like person B will give me a text, i text back
almost immediately, and then i'm left waiting for a response for about 20-30
minutes. not cool.

when someone texts me i figured is because they just want to say something
quick and get it over with. with this person its like a boring conversation
that just drags on for hours. and that pisses me off. if they just want to text
because they want to kill time/are bored/or just want to talk them TELL ME!!
i will understand. but to expect me to just talk to you for no good reason
over fucking long txt messages is not my thing.
this person B, i also figured out, is a bit emotional. (actually they remind me
of my ex.) and they're that type of person that "you say something but
it means something else". i totally hate that. when i say, "i like pizza"
i mean "I LIKE PIZZA". it has no hidden message or any of that bullshit.

so a few hours ago, i decided, because this person just pisses me off, and
is that sort of type, that person B can't be a friend. maybe as an acquaintance,
but nothing more. so i deleted person B from my contacts on my phone.
and said the hell with it. i don't need that negative energy around me.
i don't need that person who loves to complain about everything.
i don't need that person who doesn't answer my questions directly nor
is direct when talking.
i dont need that passive aggressive personality around me.
so the hell with it. if they don't like it, it's not my problem.

finding good friends is like finding a good pair of shoes. I like looking
for shoes because they don't talk back to me and i don't feel pissed
off if they don't fit. so i easily discard it, or try to find if they have the
same shoe/ different size but in another store (if i really like it).
i have big feet, and i have accepted that US shoe
industry doesn't make pretty shoes for my size foot, but people are full
of emotional baggage and i shouldn't be wasting my time to see if they
are friend-compatible.
the hell with that.

so i don't feel bad that i deleted person B from my phone. I feel bad
because i feel like i put in effort/time for a person i want to know and end
up figuring out that it just wont work. i feel pissed off because there
are so many bullshitters in my school, and its hard to find that one
nice person. i'm mad because so many people in my life have let me down,
and that makes me think that i can only depend on myself.