Heart Matters

  Aahh..I didn't know I would feel this way. I guess I didn't think about it too much before. In this point of my life, I'm in transition. It would be hard to be with someone with the thought of a serious relationship. I guess because I didn't want to be heartbroken again? Or that the situation would get complicated?
  I figured I would do my work, and once I am in Japan I would start thinking about love again. And if I met someone here, and they are interesting, that it's ok to see where that goes. But ultimately they would have to accept that I do not want to live here for the rest of my life. So it wouldn't work anyways. So far, I haven't met anyone here that interests me. There was guy2 last year that got my interest, but I was so hesitant that I didn't do anything. I know he lives close to where I live, and takes the same train. I haven't seen him this year so far..
  (He was in one of my classes, and we also took the same train. It wasn't until we had our final projects, for the end of the class, that he said "good luck" to me before I went to the front of the room to present my final project. I think those are the only words that were meant for me. Hahaha. This sounds so lame! I should have said something!)

  It wasn't until guy1 asked if I was jealous about him being interested in someone, that I realized that I was jealous. I was honest with my answer, but now I regret saying it. I kept thinking 'You sound just like my host mother. She had told me she liked foreign guys and dreamed of having a family with a foreign guy, but her husband got to her first'. (Her husband is japanese.) And I felt a little sad for him when he (guy1) said he couldn't wait anymore.

  Now I am enjoying my life and also doing what I need to do. I have never thought or felt like I was waiting for something to happen. Sometimes I do feel sad that I am not with someone, but I don't think about it for too long, and do some of my hobbies or focus on my studies. So when guy1 had said he can't wait, I thought it was sad. Maybe I have been selfish in only thinking about what I need to do in my life, and didn't consider others' feelings? I thought no one had feelings for me, so I thought it was nothing bad to focus on my goals...
  I don't know..

  This is a little more complicating now that I talk about it, but honestly, I do hope that once I'm in Japan I will find a friend who can become more than that. For now, let's enjoy life. ^^

What I Want In a Guy

 Hello again. ^^
 There are a few things I want to talk about today:
 First,
 Last time I talked about a bag I wanted to make, and so far I made some changes to the design. Personally, I couldn't see some of the pictures from the tutorial clearly so I made up whatever came to mind. For example, I

 

made up the connection between the petals of the flower. For the string that goes around in a circle, I connected them to each other with a regular knot. Although the knot is in the inside of the bag, so that it's not seen and it's not like I added an extra knot.
  I haven't taken a picture yet of the rest of the pattern that goes around the bag, only because it takes a LONG time to have something picturable. Is that a word? Pictureable? It is now. :P
  While doing this, I've had some strings break on me, but now that I have my crafty glue, I can glue the ends back together and keep using the same string. You don't need any specific glue. The one I have cost around 6$, 59.1mL, called Amazing Goop: Craft Arte. It's clear transparent, and on the label it says "Contact, Adhesive and Sealant". The only bad part is that it's harmful to breath in, so I open the doors and windows to have good air ventilation. Be careful if you are looking for these glues. I looked at another glue and said it may cause cancer,.!!! WHAAAAAAT? No cancer for me!! O_O

  Second,
 I wanted to post a short paragraph I wrote. It was optional to do it for class, so I didn't turn it in. It's just a way to practice for me. I also use Lang-8 to get people's opinion on corrections, which you can see here. Here it is:

難しいこと面白いことは？

質問：日本語を勉強していて、面白いと思ったことと難しいと思ったことは何ですか？
　子供の時一つ話語を話したのに、英語を勉強するのが好きだった。今も他の話語を勉強するのが好きでも、単語とか漢字とか覚えるがちょっと難しいと思う。会話を書く時もちょっと難しいけど上手になりたい。本当に話語を習うのが好きので、専門は日本研究とアニメーションで、日本に行った時大学院で国際関係を勉強したい。
　勉強するは多くの言葉を習ってし、もっとはっきり自分をひょうげんするができます。それで会話時は長い文が面白いと思う。そして映画を見るとき、雑誌やマンガを読む時もっと分かれる。さいごに難しいことと面白いことがあるけど、上手になりたいし、毎日日本語を勉強して練習するようにする。

Third,
 I wanted to ask: does anyone know the difference when using Anki and Studyblue? I feel like Studyblue looks more modern, but has less features than Anki. They are both notecard programs for studying, but at the moment I am undecided. I am not in a rush to find out, but I would like to be organized about my notecards. A person I know gave me the idea (basically do what that person does): add words/kanji/etc. when I come across them, and just to add to my personal vocab.

And lastly,
 today I have a date. I couldn't exactly say no, even though I'm not interested in him in that way...I'm not sure why I got myself in this situation, but I have to think of a way to turn someone down. Graaa! I'm not good at these things. I guess I thought I could make a friend out of this, but I know sometimes that doesn't always work. One-sided love doesn't lead to a healthy friendship. I think it makes things messy and unnecessary. So probably he's telling his Bfs that he has a date, but it will not end well. He's just not my type.. If I had to make a list of things that I like in a guy (physically), I will say this:

1. has to be clean. You know, take showers/baths every day, take care of his skin, wash hair. I don't like looking at a face I'm about to kiss and think "Holly shit, there is no way my face is touching that". It's just nice to put your fingers through some nice hair and touch a clean face yeah?! I tried to let it pass with one guy, but after we kissed (which has very short anyway) all I could think about was going home and scrubbing and using a face mask.
3. needs to have a plan for his life. It doesn't have to be detailed, but I don't want to waste my time on someone who doesn't know what to do with his life, or knows what to do but not know HOW to do it. I have a plan for my life, and I can't be with someone who holds me back. In other words, know what they want and go for it. I am that same way, so i would like someone that encourages me and i will do the same.
4. has to dress well. I'm not asking for a suit everyday; that's not realistic. But I would be embarrassed if he is wearing sweat pants everyday.. It's hard to say because people's style differs, but I'm asking not to be sloppy and wear baggy pants that I can see his underwear. You know, wear clothes that fit their body nice, and not baggy shit, or clothes with holes that scream "throw me away in the trash". Basically just understand style, and know there are different clothes for different occasions. I'm sure this is not hard to understand.
5. how to dance. This one i'm not very picky about, because if he doesn't know how to dance, he can learn. This is more one of those things that impress me. I've always loved to dance and have a good time and so I want to share that with the person I'm with. Of course, you need the right music too. My favorite is merengue.
6. oh and definitely not too muscular or too skinny. I guess I like slim guys. I don't like that look of their arm muscles bulging out because they can't fit into their shirt sleeves. I'm talking about when guys only work out their upper body cuz they think it's cool. Well sorry, I don't like that. So prefer for them to be healthy in general, just not extreme skinny. For me, I like to stare at a guys back and how wide it is. But when he turns around and I see that he has bulging muscles and has man boobs that are bigger than mine, then I say no.

  Also, I love love LOVE when a guy is wearing cologne that smells good. Because you can get close and just lose yourself in his sent. Anyway, I think this is all I have. There are other things that I would like, like not be a total asshole, not possessive, blah blah blah, but I think that is more common sense, and it doesn't have to do with the physical stuff. Actually some of these are not physical traits, but more like ability? But yea! This is what I would list. I know I'm not asking for much, and to me this looks realistic. But anyway, this post is getting long. ^^'' What would you want in the person? What attracts you?

Lasik and Knots

     Hello again!! :D :D
     So I have been on my summer break, by the way : awesome! I got lasik surgery and it's so cool. I can see all the time! I can actually see myself in the shower and see all the details of my boring bathroom. But now I have a bit of a headache. It's like I feel I want to take off my contacts or glasses so I can feel comfortable again. Think about it. I started wearing glasses when I was in 5th grade, and gradually I got to a -4.75 vision on both eyes. A little bit more and I would be considered legally blind. Now after the surgery I've gotten back to almost a 20/20 vision instantaneously and gives me a headache right now. 
     Still I am still glad I got the surgery and am doing fine in everyday things. If anyone out there, who needs to wear glasses or contacts all the time, definitely think about it. I recommend it.

     Moving on!

     I'm back to doing my friendship bracelets, and this time I want to do something even more difficult. I've made more difficult bracelets with more complex patterns, but doing a bracelet itself is pretty easy. So I've decided to do a little bag. I mostly use this website to get my patterns, and change the colors whenever I think the ones posted are kind of ugly..., but the site also has tutorials. So I looked around and found this! (The picture on the left) It's a macrame bag, and I feel in love with it. Obviously you can change the colors of the patters and what not, but I figured THIS IS THE CHALLENGE I NEED! 
     No more boring bracelets and doing like...5 a day, to then move on to the next one. So I'm just saying I'm going to spend a lot of time doing this. Below I have posted all the sources I will be using and then when I am done, I will let you know how it came out and show you some awesome pictures. Maybe I'll decide to do a zipper instead (with my moms help of course cuz I don't know shit about zippers).

This is where all the details are shown, but I'm going to repost for my own purposes:

Mandala Flower Tutorial (for the bottom of the bag)

Plaid Pattern Tutorial (for the surrounding of the bag)

Square Knot Pattern Tutorial (for the circles around the bag: makes it look like a basket)

Buckle Tutorial

Leave Bracelet Tutorial (don't really know what part this is for)

Tube Bracelet Tutorial (already know how to do this, but again don't know what it's for)

Picture References:

 

1: Flower Pattern
2: Closing the flower pattern into a circle pattern
3: Doing the bracelet, but starting sideways since it's attached to the circle
4: make the little buckles with a different string (use scissors and possibly hot glue)
5: Begin with a separate bracelet to use as the handle for the bag.
6: Done


I've also looked at the profile of the person who made this, and found some other cool stuff that I would also like to do. For example:Single Leaf Pattern/Flower, Butterfly Pattern, Bracelet with Wire Underneath, Cellphone Bag.

Tria Beauty

     I am not the type to WANT to watch 'The Talk'. This is a show my mom watches when I have nothing to watch on TV; which tends to happen a lot since most of the things I watch are online anyway. But back to the topic. ^^

     She had told me about this thing called Tria, and they were advertising this hair removal laser. 
What do you think? Sleek looking. Right?! It's a little expensive; about 400 US dollars. But then you don't have to spend any more money on getting shavers, or replacements. Your hair will be a permanent loss. Chaaaan ^_^

     It's the same type of technology that's used in those super expensive 'spa' offices for laser hair removal, and gives you the same PERMANENT results. I would so use this on places where I don't want my hair to grow back, like armpits and legs.
     Then I looked at their website, and also found out that they have an acne thing too called Blue Light Treatment. 
     This laser is penetrating those ugly bacteria that are hiding right underneath your skin layer that tends to turn into nasty pimples and zits and other such things that we don't want.
     It's about 250 US dollars, so not as expensive as the tria beauty one but knowing me, I would love to try this. I love it when people give me face masks and cleaning things for my face and body as presents just because I care about my skin. Plus I have some nasty pimples that I would like to get rid of. I've never been one of those people that have pimples all over their face. Mine come here and there, but never all at once, and I rarely get scars from them. It's only been recently that I've scared on my chin, and I want to get rid of that. Plus, my skin tends to be on the oily side, so I don't use lotions or moisturizers for my face only because they feel really heavy and when I wake up the next day, my face feels oily. I like instead, that more clean and not really dry feeling where you are pealing but dry in the sense where I don't feel like I need to splash my face with some water.
     So that has been my share of pimple problems, and I know there are other people also who have their own stories. So I hope that by telling you about these tria beauty products, I have....opened your horizon. ^^

Randomness

     Summer is almost over (atleast the summer classes which by the way I dropped that chemistry class because my grades weren't good enough so I figured I'll do an introduction class to astronomy this next semester/quarter and just get it over with). I don't want anything to do with chemistry and basically avoiding it as much as possible. The class is really early which means I have to wake up at 6AM. :O but anything to avoid that chemistry!!!! T  .T But this isn't depressing news.

     On the other hand, there is another class that I could take where I only have to wake up early only on Fridays, but the advisor people I have mentioned on this previous post don't necessarily do much work. Meaning there is alot of waiting....and waiting....etc. But I don't want to think about that right now, and just enjoy my time on break. I've already worked on 2 art pieces. The second one I'll be able to finish by later today.
     Which reminds me, today is my last day in the art summer class, so I habr an exam to take. I'm literally sitting in the room right now waiting for the teacher to give us our tests. And here comes the stach ache...